Showing posts with label Jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jobs. Show all posts
Sibuyas na sweldo
Kapag Hinati-hati mo na sa gastusin mapapaluha ka
Pampapapayat na Sweldo:
Habang tumatagal pakonti ng pakonti ang natitirang kain mo.
Magic Sweldo :
Konting kumpas lng ng kamat at, VOILA!.. wala na sya...
Mala-Bagyong Sweldo:
Di ka siguardo kung kailan ito darating at kung gaano ito itatagal.
Korning Pelikulang Sweldo:
Tinatawanan mo na lang para di ka MaBwisit
Konserbatibong Sweldo:
Nakakawala ng inspirasyon
Baog na Sweldo :
Kahit anong trabaho ang gawin mo wala pa ring kalalabasan
Reglang Sweldo:
Isang beses sa isang Buwan lng dumadating at tumatagal lng ng 3 araw
Conclusion :
Make sure your Boss doesn't trick you with your contract Salary
all-pinoy-jokes.blogspot.com
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In your Organizational Charts show how many assholes you'll be seeing. If you're in the Lower level it means you have to deal more assHoles. But if you're in the Peak, you have more shit heads to face with.
When Top Level Guys look down, they see only Shitheads...
When Bottom Level Guys look up, they see only assholes
ATM Machine Substitute
Cigarette Dispenser Substitute
Coffee maker Substitute
Fuel Dispenser Substitute
Ice Cream Maker Substitute
Amusement Kids Ride Substitute
Jukebox Machine Substitute
Video Arcade Game Substitute
Washing Machine Substitute
X-Ray Luggage Scanner Substitute
Butcher Fashion Designer
Hair Stylist for Nun
Do u have a Girlfriend? [Interview]
Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't
want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.
Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal
issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is
dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.
Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.
Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper" ! (Job
hoper lah!)
Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing
with money and you will seduce.
Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to
employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect
your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
Its not really a hard job , it will just takes you some minutes to finish one Airplane. Your job is too wait for departing Airplane , a captain will call when they about to start to depart then you and the others will starts the push.
"NO,.. NO,..NO!!!.. guys , you pushing it the wrong way..
Now pull it back!!! "
I have no comment with this , I'm sure a lot of guys will queue for the post.
I wonder how they terminate their employees?
This will happen if Google lost all their millions and have to support their Google Earth manually. This is also good for a lot of unemployed bum people that are desperately looking for a job.
"Oh shit.. someone explored Africa. I need to get there on time"
